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Who We Are, What We HAve Done (2008)

               
 

01. Geometry of a heavy Heart

I can fit the puzzle pieces together without a picture
I can solve equations with letters representing the numbers
I can draw us as two points, measure out the line
Plot our position through space and time
But I can't find a way to chart the geometry of a heavy heart

I can sketch the pattern of stars in the heavens, a perfect replication
I can still remember your depth and dimension without hesitation
I can map the site where our paths meet
And guess at the angle of our defeat
But even Euclid and Descartes can't solve the geometry of a heavy heart

I can rewrite the rules till our problems are solved
I can fake the proofs till you don't trust me at all
And it all just falls apart with the geometry of a heavy heart


02. The Weather

You seem set on eroding my trust
On battering my mountain down to a pile of dust
I lie pliant as you pound me until nothing's left
Your face grieves for my loss, then laughs at the theft

You want to be the weather
Driving clouds above my brow
It makes you feel electric
To see me shiver and bow
But your wind can't whip forever
And your thunder is silent now

You seem hell-bent on breaking my will
Holding down my fluttering heart until it lies still
I welcome your claws as they slowly sink inside
Your smile keeps your secrets but your eyes reveal the lie

You want to be the weather
Driving clouds above my brow
It makes you feel electric
To see me shiver and bow
But your wind can't whip forever
And your thunder is silent now

I am ageless and tired
I've lived the same life
A thousand cycles now
You want to be the weather
but your wind can't whip forever
And your thunder is silent


03. Papers and Magazines

remember when we couldn't sleep
cuz the nightmares were real and their shadows stretched deep
I'd say think of a beautiful dream

we'd get together when we got older
you said I was your savior but you were my shoulder
and we shared the myths of the past

we don't need our faces in the papers and magazines
we don't need our names in the annals of history
'cuz we know who we are and what we have done
the monsters we fought and the battles we won
we don't need anything from anyone

remember when I met you at the train
we drank beer on my stoop without saying a thing
then we both laughed and took a breath

we were naïve and broken and sad
I still thought I could save the world when it went bad

we don't need our faces in the papers and magazines
we don't need our names in the annals of history
'cuz we know who we are and what we have done
the monsters we fought and the battles we won
we don't need anything from anyone

but if you need to breathe I will help you to breathe
if you need to believe I will help you to believe
if you need to break free I will help you to break free
'cuz you always did the same for me
you always did the same for me


04. Light house Keeper

We talk oceans into being between us
with stinging words that taste of salt and rust
then you climb the winding stair, up to the mirror
watch your breath form a mist and let it clear
snuff out the little flame and leave me in the dark
oh lighthouse keeper

There's nothing to guide me, when you're out of reach
but why should you worry when you're safe on the beach
I threw a line out to the shore
but you severed the cord
oh lighthouse keeper

I am a vessel on the sand, stranded and dry
said you can't give me what I need, but you didn't try
I will track my sightless path across the fathomless span
I will make my way alone just to prove that I can
keep your little flame, and leave me in the dark
oh lighthouse keeper

There's nothing to guide me, when you're out of reach
but why should you worry when you're safe on the beach
I threw a line out to the shore
but you severed the cord
oh lighthouse keeper


05. Atlas Shrugged

I'm at the dead-end street
I'm in the darkened alley
It's like it's calling for me
It's like I know it wants me

There's no escape
no escape

When you told me not to be afraid
I smiled at your innocence
When you told me not to be afraid
I said the world is on my shoulders
If I let it fall it might crush us all

I buy human misery
For two new shiny quarters
Ink runs in the rain
My hands are black and stained

There's no escape
no escape

When you told me not to be afraid
I smiled at your innocence
When you told me not to be afraid
I said the world is on my shoulders
If I let it fall it might crush us all

There's no escape, 
no escape


06. it Gives

I keep running up against the wall
Like this time it will change, like this time it won't be there at all
And it leaves
red grit and blue bruises
but it never gives
Then I begin to give up and I begin to let you go

I hate the way hope makes me hold up my head
When I know it will betray me, it will slay me and leave me for dead
It leaves
gray doubts and yellow scars
but it never gives
Til I begin to give up and I begin to let you go

The wind tells me to smile, this is for the best
Don't fret for what you can't have, put aside your unrest
And it leaves
pink cheeks and pale skin
and it begins to give me
The strength I need to give in and begin to let you go


I know what I'm doing, I won't get hurt
Walk off with my heart and I'll steal the shirt
Off your back, look behind and I'll laugh
I'll beat you in the end. Baby, pretend

It's mayday, mayday

Baby pretend
I'm your friend, the jukebox charlatan
quarter for my dreams, dollar for my skin
for all these things that roll into and out of my head
Like it never happened. Baby, say when

It's mayday, mayday

Baby, say when
I can stop tiptoeing around what I want to say
Rehearsing the lines to my own play
It might be ok to soften in the sun, a little
Then you'll understand. 
Baby, take my hand, it's mayday. 

it's mayday.

07. Mayday


I  can't explain why I do what I do
I wake up from dreaming with music in my head
I remember singin' the blues every time I felt bad
Somehow it got me through

Maybe you want to make loads of money
Your face on glossy pages, your voice on the radio
I just want to survive the only way I know how
You can keep the fortune, honey

We always argue and I never see it your way
You always start but I always have the final say

The thing I do, I know it doesn't make sense
I could take the easy road to a charmed life
But I'll never belong with the successful and strong
I just want to pay my rent

We always argue and I never see it your way
You always start but I always have the final say

I remember singin the blues every time I felt bad
Somehow it got me through... foolish dream

08. Foolish Dream


When I couldn't take it anymore
I'd go in the bathroom and lock the door
and think of the choices before me
what the cabinet holds
but I always did as I was told
am I a broken thing? 

When the fight began I had nowhere to go
so I closed my eyes and turned up the stereo
The way a voice can tell stories
it's not supposed to tell
I keep my secrets and keep them well
am I a broken thing? 

But I pretend everything's ok
the bruises are under my clothes
and only the mirror knows
am I a broken thing?

09. Broken Thing


The sky is turning grey as I walk down 4th avenue
but it’s blue above the highway, looming above the roofs
and the statue with her green arms and gold flame is standing guard
How can it be so beautiful and so hard? 

I thought of moving to the country when I missed the hills
and the sky spangled with stars, the creek's ripples and rills
to walk along the old rail trail under a green canopy
to disappear slowly and quietly

But I took the G train north on Sunday to see a show
and I sat at the bar, in the candlelight glow
Heard the voices and the guitars bleeding out their tones
This place is so foreign but it feels like home

The rain fell on my face this morning in Manhattan
I'd forgotten my umbrella but I didn't care
I straightened my shoulders and waited for the light to change
And thought, "I'm really happy to be here"

10. City / Country